Have you ever seen what happens to a house plant left out in the wintery cold? It suffers what I can only imagine is an agonizing, belittling death.
First the leaves slacken then wither while all the stems shrivel.
Then the plant browns, sags completely, before turning utterly black like a plague corpse.
That's what I felt like when I understood my father shot the photo of the girl on the cover of Gentlemen Club, shot all the photos of all the girls in those magazines sitting above my head al.