Missing out: in praise of the unlived life - Adam Phillips

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• A TRANSFORMATIVE BOOK ABOUT THE LIVES WE WISH WE HAD AND WHAT THEY CAN TEACH US ABOUT WHO WE ARE All of us lead two parallel lives: the one we are actively living, and the one we feel we should have had or might yet have.
• As hard as we try to exist in the moment, the unlived life is an inescapable presence, a shadow at our heels.
• And this itself can become the story of our lives: an elegy to unmet needs and sacrificed desires.
• We become haunted by the myth of our own potential, of what we have in ourselves to be or to do.
• And this can make of our lives a perpetual game of falling short.
• But what happens if we remove the idea of failure from the equation?
• With his flair for graceful paradox, the acclaimed psychoanalyst Adam Phillips suggests that if we accept frustration as a way of outlining what we really want, satisfaction suddenly becomes possible.
• To crave a life without frustration is to crave a life without the potential to identify and accomplish our desires.
• In Missing Out , an elegant, compassionate, and absorbing book, Phillips draws deeply on his own clinical experience as well as on the works of Shakespeare and Freud, of D.
• W.